This is a true statement, and there is a lot to learn! I can recall getting ready to leave the hospital in 2011 with my first child. The nurse gave us discharge papers and said to always dress the baby is something a little warmer than I had on and mentioned to keep the room "At room temperature." Its funny now looking back because my husband and I were so nervous, we both asked "What's room temperature." We were so nervous that our common sense had left.

(Maybe it was the pregnant brain).

The discharge sheets the nurses gave me had simple, but complicated instructions on all pages. They read "How to care for my baby" The instructions included how to feed and burp the baby, to lay her on her back to sleep, to schedule a follow up appointment within the next week or two. To count poops and pees to know if she’s getting enough milk, and no co-sleeping. Here I was, at home overwhelmed simply because..I had no manual and I was too depressed to actually get out of the house and ask for help from my family and friends. 

My OB and older women around me would coach me over the phone on how to calm the baby down, old wives tales, natural ways to get rid of illness and rashes; but I needed in person help and support. I eventually learned my child and her schedule. I'd know when she needed a nap, a bath, when she was hungry. I knew what time she'd wake in the middle of the night and in the morning. Her favorite books and infant tv shows. I learned after she turned 1, that naps after 6pm were not a good idea, and the bedtime at 8pm was perfect. The biggest frustration was the advice to "sleep when the baby slept." How could I, if I've been attending to her needs every hour of the day? I've neglected myself and my home for days. So when she slept, that was my time to cook, hurry and eat, shower and clean. I didn't get much rest. 

I needed help.

I found out I was pregnant with my second child and my first born was only a mere five months. I didn't have a postpartum Doula but my Mom and sister were a huge help and my mother in law would come over and stay nights with me to help out. I started reaching out and asking for help and going to therapy for the Postpartum depression. I built a village of people who I was comfortable with helping me without judgment. That was my biggest accomplishment! Fast forward to today-I have four daughters now and everyone looks at me like the Guru or childbirth and parenting. It took a lot of sleepless nights and years of losing myself-or who I thought I was in order to get where I am, and

I'm still far from perfect.

 I hold many hats, and a lot of times I feel like I’m making up the rules as I go because there isn't a manual. Everything is trial and error. You throw out what doesn't work and keep what does. Had I known about Doulas and Postpartum work 10 years ago, 

I would've had one!